Saturday, March 13, 2010

Grandchildren, Part 1

I'm blessed to have 2 grandchildren. My son has a daughter, and my daughter has a son.

Katie Pie was 13 months old when I first met her. She was born out of wedlock, and I love her. For 2-1/2 years, I picked her up on a regular basis and spent time with her, mostly one on one. I really enjoyed my time with her. We'd go to my house and watch "Finding Nemo" or we'd go to the library, and I'd read the books she'd pick out from the stacks. Usually when I'd read to her, the kids in the library would gather around us and listen. We'd make new friends everytime we went to the library. Then gas prices skyrocketed, and I couldn't afford the 80 miles each time I was with her, so we started doing things near her house. We'd go to someplace to eat, or Chuck E Cheese or the library by her house. Then I couldn't even afford going to her house, so I cut our visits down to every other weekend and she'd spend the night. I'd plan my schedule around our visits. There were many times I didn't do things with my friends because it was when I was supposed to be with Katie. After a couple of months, they told me she couldn't spend the night because she had to be 5. So, I backed off.

Then the Sunday following Thanksgiving in 2005, I went to get her, and she wasn't at the apartment. Having to find Katie was one of the games the other family played. I went to her great grandfather's house, and her great aunt told me that they were gone. Katie's mom took her and left the state to get married to someone in the service. Her mom was supposed to have told me, but she didn't. I was so upset. There was a huge hole in my life. It took about a month for me to rearrange my life so she wasn't the center any more. I took back most of the Christmas presents I'd bought her and went on with my life. About mid January, my ex called to tell me that they were coming back to SA. But, by then, the magic spell was broken.

The other family never accepted me as a good person. They blamed the situation on me. The fact that their daughter was promiscuous meant nothing. I'm not saying my son was completely innocent. It takes two to tango, but they made it difficult for me to see Katie. They never met me halfway. As a matter of fact, sometimes I couldn't find them to pick her up or take her back. I'd drive between the grandfather and great grandfathers's to find them. There were times that I had to wait for them to get back home. But I was patient because I loved Katie, and I enjoyed our time together.

I was beginning to get close to her again when her mom took her out of state again. My ex and her grandfather brought her back, and the other family has completely shut me out. Now all communication is between my ex and the other family. My ex picks her up and she spends the night with them. She's been at my house a couple of times in the past 3 years. I love her, and I see her when I can. But it's not like before. My life is a little complicated, and I hope that soon things will settle down enough for me to spend more time with her. I feel she needs to be with me to help her gain perspective and not be so selfish. She's learned how to work everyone. She pouts and pitches fits, and can be generally obnoxious at times. But that's part of growing up and learning her limits. She's really smart and I'm very proud of her and her accomplishments.



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